S: Is for Sad but True

O COME YE INVESTORS
tune--O Come All Ye Faithful lyrics by Felonius Ax
O Come, ye investors, bold captains of commerce,
Let‚s get our products made in old Saipan.
Come for the people, peaceful and compliant
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them because we can!
See how consumers, blinded by low prices,
Leaving their ethics, come here to buy.
Into our pockets they will pour their dollars.
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them because we can!

Child, in our sweatshops making designer watches,
Billionaires get richer from your twelve-hour days!

Thus ends the F.A.C.T.S we need to face.
Who would not hire you for ten cents an hour?
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them because we can!

T: Is for Toys

Toys For The World
(to the tune of "Joy To The World" by George F. Handel)

Toys for the world are made by kids
And not by elves at all!
We work them night and day
For very little pay.
And little tiny hands
Make all your fav'rite brands
That fill up the shelves in every shopping mall.

Toys for the world that Santa brings
So your sweet kids can play...
What's underneath your tree
Is our economy.
And all those girls and boys
Who make you're children's toys
Are not getting squat from us on Christmas Day!
They're not getting squat from us on Christmas Day!

Toy F.A.C.T.S. we don't face.

Lyrics by Felonius Ax
(aka Clifford J. Tasner)

C: Is for Carols of a realistic kind

CAROL OF THE BILLS tune--Carol of the Bells lyrics by Diva Denz
Closing Bell Rings! Fill your stockings!
With Market Shares, Nothing we'll Spare!
Capital Gains, Nothing Remains,
For pension plans, wage earning clans
Ding Dong, Ding Dong, that is our song!
With Closing Ring, Profiteering!
Ownership Race, we'll set the pace!
Glee we reap from, Unearned income!
Oh, how it pounds! Closing Bell Sounds!
Through halls of gold, so Rich and Bold!

Gaily it rings, CEOs Sing
Songs of their gains. Free Market Reigns!
Social Social Social Social Security
Private Private Private Privatizing!

On, the bell tolls, Divert Payrolls
Our elite tones, Drown working homes.
Closing Bell Rings! Fill your stockings!
With Market Shares, Nothing we'll Spare!
Capital Gains, Nothing Remains,
For pension plans, wage earning clans
Ding Dong, Ding Dong, that is our song!
With Closing Ring, Profiteering!
Ownership Race, we'll set the pace!
Glee we reap from, Unearned income!
Oh, how it pounds! Closing Bell Sounds!
Through halls of gold, so Rich and Bold!

Gaily it rings, CEOs Sing
Songs of their gains. Free Market Reigns!
Social Social Social Social Security
Private Private Private Privatizing!

On, the bell tolls, Divert Payrolls
Our elite tones, Drown working homes.
Ding Dong, Ding Dong

F.A.C.T.S. we can't ignore.

A: is for accenting the problem

Prison Cells
(to the tune of "Jingle Bells" by J. Pierpont)

It's just a traffic stop - for D.W.B.
Then the cop plants drugs on you and busts you, one-two-three.
Or you could get popped - and if it's your third strike,
You'll get life in prison just for jacking someone's bike! Oh...

(Chorus)
Prison cells, prison cells - don't you break the rules.
We spend more on prison cells than we spend on our schools!
Prison cells, prison cells - You'll be doing time.
We'll lock you up for forty years and say we're tough on crime!

Here comes the D.A. Watch him rig the game.
He'll suppress the evidence that just might clear your name.
You could still appeal, but you're bound to fail.
Your court-appointed lawyer couldn't get Jesus out of jail! Oh...

(Chorus)

You'll be building toys. You'll be booking flights.
We'll force you to work so just forget about your rights.
We don't pay you much. You can't unionize.
Prison labor really makes our profit margin rise! Oh...

(Chorus)

We don't add no frills, nor rehabilitate.
We privatize the prisons and we get rich from the state.
If our venture fails, and if our stock should tank,
We'll let the public bail us out and laugh it to the bank! Oh...

(Chorus)

Lyrics by Felnonius A
(aka Clifford J. Tasner)

These are scary F.A.C.T.S.

F: Is for farce

There is an amazing group called Billionaires for Bush. They are a political satire group. My column this week is dedicated to their Christmas Carols all week. Enjoy

O COME YE INVESTORS
tune--O Come All Ye Faithful lyrics by Felonius Ax
O Come, ye investors, bold captains of commerce,
Let‚s get our products made in old Saipan.
Come for the people, peaceful and compliant
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them because we can!
See how consumers, blinded by low prices,
Leaving their ethics, come here to buy.
Into our pockets they will pour their dollars.
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them because we can!

Child, in our sweatshops making designer watches,
Billionaires get richer from your twelve-hour days!
Who would not hire you for ten cents an hour?
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them
O come let us exploit them because we can!

Now these are F.A.C.T.S. we can not ignore.

S: Is for Showtime and the SAG awards.

T: Is for the theatre Gods

Wondering what films to see, what video's to watch. The SAG nominations just came out. "An Education," "The Hurt Locker," "Inglourious Basterds," "Nine" and "Precious" took the nominations for best ensemble cast. Michelle Monaghan and Chris O'Donnell announced the nominations this morning at the Pacific Design Center in West Hollywood.

Best Actor nods went to Jeff Bridges for "Crazy Heart," George Clooney for "Up in the Air," Colin Firth for "Single Man," Morgan Freeman for "Invictus" and Jeremy Renner for "The Hurt Locker."

Best Actress: Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side," Helen Mirren for "The Last Station," Carey Mulligan for "An Education," Gabourey Sidibe for "Precious" and Meryl Streep for "Julie and Julia."

Supporting Actor: Matt Damon for "Invictus," Woody Harrelson for "The Messenger," Christopher Plummer for "The Last Station," Stanley Tucci for "The Lovely Bones" and Christop Waltz for "Inglourious Basterds."

Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz for "Nine," Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick for "Up in the Air," Diane Kruger for "Inglourious Basterds" and Mo'Nique for "Precious."

Winners will be announced Jan. 23 in ceremonies at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles.

Ballots will be sent to the 120,000 members of the Screen Actors Guild.

Did you know the SAG awards for best ensemble has matched the Oscar winner for Best Picture in seven of the last 14 years, including "Slumdog Millionaire."

best actor has matched the Oscar winner in 11 of the last 15 years, including Sean Penn for "Milk."

SAG's best actress winner has matched in 10 of 15 years. Streep won the SAG trophy this year for "Doubt" and Kate Winslet won the Oscar for "The Reader" after winning the SAG prize in the supporting category.

Now these are film F.A.C.T.S.